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Thursday, August 25, 2005

Pat Robertson: Terrorist and Murderer 

Is it right to call for assassination? No, and I apologize for that statement. I spoke in frustration that we should accommodate the man who thinks the U.S. is out to kill him.

So spoke Pat Robertson, the retarded leader of the 700 Club who continues to broadcast live despite his obvious Tourette's Syndrome. After the angry global reaction to his Christian-like suggestion to assassinate Hugo Chávez, the cowardly shit-stain chose to first deny what he had said, and then finally apologize. Kind of like Jeffrey Dahmer apologizing after stabbing and eating humans, or Ted Bundy after raping and killing young women. Pat Robertson is a dangerous and sick psychopath who should be lobotomized, institutionalized, given electro-therapy, or for the sake of humanity and true Christianity, aborted retroactively. His shallow apologies come a little late. Osama Bin Laden loves America more than this sick pigfuck does.

So long as the Family Research Council, Christian Coalition, Traditional Values crowd – the James Dobson, Lou Sheldon, Beverley LaHaye, Gary Bauer, screeching hypocrite crowd -- remain “too busy” to condemn this blatant call for murder, their pro-life protestations look woefully disingenuous.

Never trust people who pretend to care about fetuses when they would advocate murder. If there’s anyone who should be “taken out,” he’s the cowardly asshole preaching to your children on television, teaching them that murder is okay.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Just Say No...It Takes Balls 

Lance Armstrong's weekend love fest with President George W. Bush, imaginatively dubbed, Tour de Crawford, is nauseating. Talk about squandering goodwill, following his unprecedented and inspirational seventh Tour de France victory. Said the ever witty President:
There are certain things that age brings with it, and not wearing the formfitting Lycra short is one of them, if you know what I mean.

Although Armstrong has voiced his opposition to the war (in terms of costs and allied support rather than criticizing a doctrine of preemptive occupation), his choice of friends leaves much to be desired.

Much fuss has been made over Bush’s newfound love of cycling since he injured his knee, and Armstrong’s visit offers a great PR opportunity for a President whose popularity is in a freefall.

Surely Armstrong understands that he's not just a fellow Texan -- he's a brand, and right now, a Bush association is about as good for branding purposes as Michael Jackson would be for repairing the Catholic Church's image in the wake of their global pedophile scandals. Said Armstrong:

It's a dream scenario for me. Now that President Bush doesn't run anymore, he rides his mountain bike fanatically. People wonder why he's stays at the ranch so long, it might be the mountain bike trails.

With all the bloodshed in Iraq, perhaps everyone can start adding red plastic arm bracelets to support dying, maimed and tortured Americans and Iraqis devastated by The President’s War on Terror.

George and Lance’s Excellent Adventures.

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